![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8){kind=small}
I'm so stoked.
I gotta buy khakis.
I don't know what they are though.
Oh well!
I gotta buy khakis.
I don't know what they are though.
Oh well!
Current Music: Walk Away - Toby Goodshank.
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ericaerection
13 June 2008 @ 07:44 pm
12 June 2008 @ 03:28 pm
Back to the basics.
I've got a big ol' bowl of honey glazed carrots and I'm playing guitar hero.
I haven't felt so normal in a really long time.
Even though I've got a horrible case of vertigo right now.
I've got Regents next week.
English and Global History.
I'm not too worried about it.
I figure I'll spend the rest of my day playing with my dog and catching up on lost sleep.
I feel like its a good day.
Bland, yes.
But good.
I've got a big ol' bowl of honey glazed carrots and I'm playing guitar hero.
I haven't felt so normal in a really long time.
Even though I've got a horrible case of vertigo right now.
I've got Regents next week.
English and Global History.
I'm not too worried about it.
I figure I'll spend the rest of my day playing with my dog and catching up on lost sleep.
I feel like its a good day.
Bland, yes.
But good.
Current Music: Blue Sky Blonde - Thieves and Villains
01 June 2008 @ 03:07 pm
This is Erica, coming to you live from Suicide Watch, June '08.
One of my friends, who I will refer to as T for privacy reasons, is the subject of my latest suicide watch.
He finally fell asleep so I've decided I haven't updated my LJ in the longest time.
I need to vent, and thats the reason I made an LJ so if your going to say something un-supportive, you might as well not leave a comment.
I got a call saying T could not be left alone.
Not today.
Not now.
T's mom is working today and she doesn't know about whats going on with him because her phone is broken and we don't know her work number.
I suspect he'll be taken to the hospital tonight though.
This isn't a new thing for T.
Last year, he attempted.
This year, he at least knew when he needed help.
I cheered him up a bit, introduced him to TuckerMax.com for a few laughs [thanks Mich!] and now hes napping.
But while sitting here in the dining room, feeding the dog the chicken out of my salad, I had an epiphany.
I need to be more productive with the time I'm given on this planet, and I can't just sit on my ass and do nothing and hope everything is gonna be fine.
So I'm going to open up more.
Via livejournal.
To anyone who may be reading this, I'll be updating this more often.
And if your my friend and your reading this and I haven't updated in a while, get on my ass about it.
One of my friends, who I will refer to as T for privacy reasons, is the subject of my latest suicide watch.
He finally fell asleep so I've decided I haven't updated my LJ in the longest time.
I need to vent, and thats the reason I made an LJ so if your going to say something un-supportive, you might as well not leave a comment.
I got a call saying T could not be left alone.
Not today.
Not now.
T's mom is working today and she doesn't know about whats going on with him because her phone is broken and we don't know her work number.
I suspect he'll be taken to the hospital tonight though.
This isn't a new thing for T.
Last year, he attempted.
This year, he at least knew when he needed help.
I cheered him up a bit, introduced him to TuckerMax.com for a few laughs [thanks Mich!] and now hes napping.
But while sitting here in the dining room, feeding the dog the chicken out of my salad, I had an epiphany.
I need to be more productive with the time I'm given on this planet, and I can't just sit on my ass and do nothing and hope everything is gonna be fine.
So I'm going to open up more.
Via livejournal.
To anyone who may be reading this, I'll be updating this more often.
And if your my friend and your reading this and I haven't updated in a while, get on my ass about it.
Current Music: Walk Away - Toby Goodshank.
16 January 2008 @ 03:42 pm
I've decided I can't talk to you.
You haven't made an attempt since the day before my birthday.
I can't sleep.
When I do sleep, I have nightmares.
About what would happen if we were friends again.
I just can't do it.
I've run over all the possible scenarios.
And even some that don't make any sense.
And every way, I get hurt.
Every way, I wake up crying.
I'm sorry.
I won't fall victim to your games and lies again.
You haven't made an attempt since the day before my birthday.
I can't sleep.
When I do sleep, I have nightmares.
About what would happen if we were friends again.
I just can't do it.
I've run over all the possible scenarios.
And even some that don't make any sense.
And every way, I get hurt.
Every way, I wake up crying.
I'm sorry.
I won't fall victim to your games and lies again.
28 November 2007 @ 01:07 pm
She said maybe I'm just plain dead for a while.
Trying to avoid the inevitable is a fools game my psychiatrist is trying to play with me with Prozac.
This always happens.
At least once a month.
Every month.
I fall into this deep depression.
It seems like its harder this time then its ever been.
And I don't know if I'm gonna make it out of this one.
All I know is I'm not supposed to feel old at the age of 15.
I'm not who I was before.
Its an entire lifetime ago.
Trying to avoid the inevitable is a fools game my psychiatrist is trying to play with me with Prozac.
This always happens.
At least once a month.
Every month.
I fall into this deep depression.
It seems like its harder this time then its ever been.
And I don't know if I'm gonna make it out of this one.
All I know is I'm not supposed to feel old at the age of 15.
I'm not who I was before.
Its an entire lifetime ago.
Current Music: Retard In Love - Say Anything.
12 November 2007 @ 11:39 am
I don't think that I could really survive.
I remember every little thing
As if it happened only yesterday
The "highlight of your month" when I responded?
Ha!
Your hysterical.
You always were.
Its bad enough Michelle is gone.
So your gonna take advantage of that?
Assume I have no friends anymore?
And you can just swoop in and we'll be all buddybuddy again.
Not gonna happen, sorry.
Of course losing Michelle is huge for me.
Fourth best friend lost since June.
Your one of those four too.
But no.
I'm not going to succumb to that.
I remember every little thing
As if it happened only yesterday
The "highlight of your month" when I responded?
Ha!
Your hysterical.
You always were.
Its bad enough Michelle is gone.
So your gonna take advantage of that?
Assume I have no friends anymore?
And you can just swoop in and we'll be all buddybuddy again.
Not gonna happen, sorry.
Of course losing Michelle is huge for me.
Fourth best friend lost since June.
Your one of those four too.
But no.
I'm not going to succumb to that.
Current Music: Paradise By The Dashboard Light - Meatloaf.
08 November 2007 @ 02:38 pm
So its a new day.
But it feels like the same old.
Everything is as its always been.
And I'm trying to better myself
But I guess I can't.
And I guess its only a halfassed attempt.
Oh well, I'll get over it.
As for being friends again, I do believe Cute Is What We Aim For got it the best.
"If you lie, you don't deserve to have friends, If you lie, you don't deserve to have them."
As for Chicken Fry.
I don't know how she could forgive you.
Shes still a stronger person then I am and always will be.
But shes leaving.
So who are you left with?
I guess more then I am.
But I did the math.
It wasn't worth it after all.
29 October 2007 @ 10:35 am
A person who greatly influenced my life is my friend , Mike. We knew each other since elementary school but became good friends in high school. In 2004, he was diagnosed with Aplastic Anemia.
Aplastic Anemia is a deficiency of red blood cells, white blood cells and blood platelets. His disease was caused because his white blood cells attacked his bone marrow.
He missed quite a few months of school because he would need to stay in the hospital to get blood transfusions. He finally came back to school but was always tired, sick and had aches and pains. Despite all of that, he made jokes and made everyone happy, no matter how bad their day was going. I can’t picture him once without a big smile on his face.
I was going through a very difficult time in my life and no matter how awful he was feeling, he’d still sit and listen to everything I had to say and made me believe that everything was going to get better.
In 2006, he and his family moved to Michigan when his father was offered a higher paying job. He underwent monthly blood transfusions over there.
On June 21, 2007, Michael Jonathan Johnson died two weeks after his 17th birthday. He got into a car accident on his way to school with his brother and aunt who was driving. Another driver drove the wrong direction down the highway. Mike’s aunt tried to swerve out of the way but the other driver collided with the back, passenger side seat, where Mike was sitting. He was crushed under the door where he bled to death because of his blood platelet deficiency. Platelets are the blood cells needed to control bleeding.
Mike was the most positive, optimistic, friendly person I had ever met, which is why it came as a very big shock to me when he died. It made me grateful for every waking moment I have left. If someone as kind and innocent as Mike could just be going about his everyday activities and then have everything ripped away from him.
His brother, who I’m also friends with, along with most other people who knew him sulked and became very depressed. Of course I mourned his loss, but I knew I had to appreciate my life, not spend my time on things I can’t change and try to live my days to their fullest.
Current Music: Hear You Me - Jimmy Eat World.
28 October 2007 @ 04:33 pm
To be honest, I finally DO see who you are.
"Wow, she's not what I thought she was."
Your reall not.
At all.
Its also nice to see you FINALLY realized Michelle is leaving and are putting in a half assed effort to see her.
Its not like I'm against you anymore.
I try not to hold grudges when I don't have to.
But once something dies, you can't make it live.
Don't worry.
You'll forget about me eventually.
So go to the city.
Smoke up.
And hang on the boy you love.
After a while, he'll be the only one you'll have left.
Unless he drops you like you did everyone else.
"Wow, she's not what I thought she was."
Your reall not.
At all.
Its also nice to see you FINALLY realized Michelle is leaving and are putting in a half assed effort to see her.
Its not like I'm against you anymore.
I try not to hold grudges when I don't have to.
But once something dies, you can't make it live.
Don't worry.
You'll forget about me eventually.
So go to the city.
Smoke up.
And hang on the boy you love.
After a while, he'll be the only one you'll have left.
Unless he drops you like you did everyone else.
Current Music: Take It Easy, Love Nothing - Bright Eyes.
